Poor little Suri Cruise is destined to be her generation's Lindsay Lohan. Or so say the prudes and haters who believe that the child is "trapped" in her famous parents, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' "warped world." Yikes. Sounds like the Parents Television Council has branched out into the movies.
Rumor has it that 5-year-old Suri Cruise is allowed to "wear heels, makeup, dark lipstick, play with Penis shaped candies, [and] stay up to all hours of the night." She also allegedly missed her second day of kindergarten because Katie Holmes took her to fashion week instead. Good God, can the Apocalypse be far behind?
And there's more. Reportedly, one of Tom and Katie's former employees tattles:
"Because Suri is being raised a Scientologist, both Katie and Tom have to treat her like an adult. There's no coddling, and they never tell her anything — they ask. So when she wants to wear her Cinderella costume to bed, she gets to. When she demands a manicure at 9 p.m., she gets it. And that includes treats for breakfast!"
It's obvious that poor doomed Suri Cruise is skidding down the same primrose path as Kourtney Kardashian's son, Mason who has allegedly had cosmetic surgery, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt who has taken 15 trips this year, and Madonna's daughter, Lourdes Leon, who has a $10,000 credit card. The haters wonder if these kids "will grow normal after getting so much, so soon in their life."
First of all, anyone with a brain stem knows normal life is overrated. Haven't any of the haters ever heard of Henry David Thoreau? As for "too much too soon," growing up wealthy doesn't automatically turn people into drunks and junkies. If money was the sine qua non of substance abuse, then there'd be no addicts in ghettos or trailer parks, would there? Duh.
Kudos to these celebrity parents for giving their children the best of everything and allowing--even encouraging them to develop their own personalities instead of morphing into the cookie cutter conformists that the culture tries to program all its members to be.
Note to Suri Cruise: Perhaps you should take it easy on those cupcakes and breakfast treats, however. They lead to avoir du pois.
Just saying.
© Hope Carson 2011
Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker and A Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.
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