Brad Pitt reportedly lost it when he learned that Angelina Jolie would be the focal point of Billy Bob Thornton's next movie. The film, titled And Then We Drove, reportedly chronicles Billy Bob's and Angie's "brief but fiery romance." Sounds riveting. But apparently, Mr. Pitt doesn't think so. The Moneyball star is also reportedly upset because Angie wrote the introduction to her ex-husband's tell-all book, The Billy Bob Tapes: A Cave Full of Ghosts which chronicles their "brief but fiery" three-year marriage. Poor Brad.
Just one week after Brad was allegedly reduced to tears after a quarrel with his baby mama Angelina Jolie over her reportedly planned meeting with Thornton in Berlin, he heard about Billy Bob's new movie and went berserk.
"Brad was so steaming mad about the date with Angie and the movie that he called Billy Bob directly," revealed an insider. "Brad told Billy Bob that he didn't appreciate him cozying up to Angelina or using her private life as fodder for entertainment. When Billy Bob tried to calm Brad down and told him to relax, Brad barked, 'Hey man, just keep your hands off MY woman!'"
Yikes. What's next? A duel? Pistols at ten paces? Or swords with seconds at the crack of dawn?
Fortunately, none of the above. Brad Pitt left Berlin in a huff and flew to London to attend the BAFTA Awards alone. Angelina gave in and canceled her meeting with the increasingly annoying Billy Bob. Brad returned to Berlin just in time to walk the red carpet with his lady-love on February 13, and the two lovebirds left for the Sarajevo premiÃ¨re of her film In the Land of Blood and Honey the next day.
Goodness. All that fussing, feuding, fighting, and flying is enough to make your head spin. And it all happened before Brad lost his cell phone with all those naughty Angelina photos. Yikes.
"In the end, Billy Bob heeded Brad's warning, and backed off his initial plan to meet with Angelina," explained the source, "and he also promised not to base his new movie on his relationship with her. Now Brad's telling Angelina that he's NOT going to tolerate any more public embarrassments."
Yikes. The fight, the warning, the hero's angry departure, the heroine's tearful apology, the bested villain's reluctant departure, the hero and heroine's happy reunion and subsequent flight into the sunset. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's daily lives sound like an old Clyde Fitch melodrama. Oh well, as long as they're having fun. The tabloids certainly are.
You go, you crazy kids. You too, Billy Bob.
Note: Chances are Billy Bob Thorton will eventually reappear in the drama-laden lives of this ultra-glamorous and uber-famous couple. What do you think?
Â© Hope Carson 2012
Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker andA Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.