As the world now knows, Tim Tebow and supposedly squeaky clean country singer Taylor Swift went on a date last week in Los Angeles. Their fans were hoping they'd hit it off and become a couple, but alas it obviously wasn't meant to be. Their date was strictly business. There wasn't even a hint of romance. Oh well, pooh happens. Better luck next time; end of story. Or not. Inside sources now report that La Swift has developed a "huge crush" on Tim, but the same insiders say the feeling is definitely not mutual. Oops.
Eyewitnesses who were present at Toscanova Restaurant last week when Tim and Taylor dined there with friends claimed the country darling was gazing at the football hero "like a little puppy dog."
"There were no public displays of affection between Taylor and Tim, but she surely looked happy to be there," tattled a second source.
Apparently, La Swift needs to perfect her poker faceÂ—especially since the same insiders report that Tim Tebow remained uninterested.
"Yes, she has a crush on him," offered yet another insider. "She is a massive fan, but I don't think he sees her that way."
Poor Taylor Swift. What's a girl to do when she's been dumped by stars as disparate as Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas, and John Mayer, and now that she's finally found a super famous yet miraculously virginal guy, he's not interested. Is La Swift doomed to be alone forever? And more importantly what will happen to her career? Without failed love affairs with thinly disguised yet unidentified male celebrities, what will she write songs about? The weather? Poor Taylor Swift.
But wait. Perhaps there is a way to win Tim Tebow's heart. The seemingly omniscient sources say that although Swift and Tebow aren't dating, Taylor has "instead embarked on a 'friendship' with him." And the basis of that "friendship" isÂ—what else?Â—religion.
"They actually have been speaking a lot about the Bible and Christianity," muses the insider. "Right now it's on the friendship tipÂ—even though that frustrates her."
Hopefully, their friendship will lead to a deeper connection, and Taylor won't be frustrated for long. As for Mr. Tebow, he seems pretty used to being frustrated, so he won't even notice.
Oh well, best of luck to both of you, you crazy, "squeaky clean" kids.
Note: If Tebow and Swift ever do become Swiftbow, the Parents' Television Council will probably foot the bill for their wedding.
Â© Hope Carson 2012
Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker and A Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.