Amber Portwood is currently sitting in an Indiana prison where she will serve her five-year sentence. The Teen Mom star shockingly chose jail over receiving drug treatment for her pill addiction. Now, she is opening up about her decision and revealing a recent suicide attempt.
"I took 30 Suboxone [which typically treats opioid addiction] within three days," she said in an exclusive interview with ABC News. "The depression took over. I'd just take four to five at a time underneath my tongue, and nod out. I had more than addiction problems. I had, you know, mental problems, too."
In the previews for Teen Mom season 4, fans see her ex-boyfriend, Gary Shirley, call for back-up when she threatens to take her own life. She was rushed to the hospital and shortly after, Gary was awarded full-custody of their 3-year-old daughter, Leah. She later said, "I had been at such a low point, I couldn't go any lower. There's nothing lower than trying to kill yourself. That's why it's probably hard to understand why I did what I did."
Amber tells ABC that when she lost custody, she felt "like I had no reason to even be around, because I was a mom. I started partying and doing drugs because I felt like I couldn't do anything anymore." She had given up.
As for her decision to opt out of treatment and do jail time instead, Amber says, "I felt in the program there were a lot of eyes on me. And it was very uncomfortable. I felt like I'd rather do my time, and get it over with, and make the best out of the situation that's been handed to me."
The situation handed to her was five years. That's a lot of time away -- especially when you have a young child. However, Amber is staying positive and is determined to make the most out of her time away. "I'm going to take some classes, I'm going to get my GED, take as many programs as I can. You know, just try to better myself for when I do get out and not stay in prison ... I'll be off the drugs, I'll have an education to get me a job, you have to think of the positives in this negative story."
Amber Portwood and the rest of the girls return for the fourth and final season of Teen Mom next Tuesday night at 10/9c.