Kristen Stewart Says She'll Marry a Man Bearing 'Twisted' Gifts Presents—Listen Up, Robert Pattinson

In a recent interview, Kristen Stewart revealed she would definitely marry a man who gave her a certain type of present. Wow. That must be some gift—beautiful, exotic, unique, and above all ungodly expensive. Or not. Actually, the Snow White and the Huntsman star's ideal gift would be a bouquet of flowers. But they can't be just any flowers. On the other hand, they shouldn't be the kind of flora usually associated with romantic encounters. In other words, no roses, orchids, violets, carnations, or lilies. La Stewart doesn't like them. Actually, she doesn't like receiving real flowers at all. They freak her out. She likes her bouquets "twisted," and metallic, much like the "wild and dangerous-looking blooms seen in Florabotanica's fragrance ad campaign" that she modelled for. Hopefully, Robert Pattinson is taking notes.

Yes, RPattz's eccentric lady-love hates real cut flowers. She doesn't mind them if they're growing out of the ground where they belong. However, once they're pulled up or cut, they seem somehow creepy.

"I would much rather keep them in the garden," Kristen explains. "Things need to move. I just feel like flowers are dead. They smell great, but I'm not a huge fan."

She has a point—sort of. All cut flowers wither and die eventually. Of course, they eventually die in the garden as well, although they're reborn again later. Also, unless La Stewart has been experimenting with some potent hallucinogens, she must know that garden flowers don't really move much more than cut ones. That's because they're, like, duh, rooted in the ground. They move only when the wind blows hard enough to make them sway on their stalks, vines, or bushes. But alas, that logic seems to have been lost on the Twilight heroine.

"Imagine getting this big metal [arrangement]...," gushes Kristen. "...that would be awesome. I would marry whoever sent me that."

Oh well, there you have it. The way to Kristen Stewart's heart is lined with big bouquets of metal blossoms.

Note to Robert Pattinson: Play your cards right with this metal flower arrangement thing, and you can probably even skip all that engagement ring stuff.

Just saying.

© Hope Carson 2012

Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker andA Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.

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