Robert Pattinson 'Happy and Relieved' That Kristen Stewart Cheated?

Is Robert Pattinson actually secretly happy that Kristen Stewart cheated on him? Rumor has it that he's ecstatic. He's also relieved because it means he won't have to play the part of her boyfriend anymore. He's been playing it for four long years, and he must be bored out of his skull by now. Poor RPattz. No wonder he says he sometimes feels like a prostitute.

Of course, the so-called Nonstens have maintained for years that RPattz and KStew were a studio manufactured couple, created to help the Twilight Saga franchise rake in billions of dollars, millions of which trickled down to its two comely young stars. However, a close examination of the Kristen Stewart cheating scandal's facts suggests the Nonstens may have been right all along.

As has been duly noted on fan sites, KStew's assignation with her dorky director was hardly a "Christmas party that got out of control after too much punch type of fling." It was a serious affair. And of course, there are rumors that she had other affairs over the last four years. And why shouldn't she? After all, if the Nonstens' theory is true, KStew has been single throughout her involvement in the Twilight franchise.

Then, there was her stilted public apology to Rob. As many outraged fans have commented online, it seemed fake. And the reason according to the theorists is because it was scripted by the studio. It wasn't meant as an apology to Rob but rather to the Twihards, whose dreams of a perfect real life Edward Cullen/Bella Swan relationship have been sullied and jeopardized.

Of course, like it or not, it's the obsessed Twihards who made Pattinson what he is and put him where he is today. Without them, Cosmopolis would not have been possible. How can he be happy at the prospect of Robsten's dissolution, the Twilight franchise's resounding crash, and the deflation of his own fan base? Well, there's an answer to that too. With the possible exception of Robsten's dissolution, none of the above has a snowball's chance in hell of ever happening.

According to many theorists, the franchise will go on just as strong as ever--perhaps even stronger. Twihards will flock to promotional events if for no other reason than to spew hate on La Stewart. As for Robert Pattison, Twihards will show up in droves to support their "devastated" idol, to wax nostalgic at the perfection of Edward and Bella's celluloid romance, and, once again, to hate on Kristen Stewart. They will no doubt flock to RPattz's future films with the same fervor and intensity with which they plan to boycott KStew's future endeavors. Career-wise, Stewart's affair with Rupert Sanders is probably the luckiest thing that's happened to Robert Pattinson since he went to the Edward Cullen casting call four years ago.

So there you have it. Robsten was never a couple so there was no infidelity and, regardless of what Rob "decides," there can't be a break-up. At least not a real one. The theories could be true. Or not. What do you think?

© Hope Carson 2012

Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker and A Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.

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