'Selena Gomez' has been banned from Facebook. The world-famous social media site gave La Gomez her walking papers by permanently disabling her account on August 1. What will Justin Bieber say? Probably nothing. In fact, he'll probably think it's crazy that Facebook can't tell the difference between the real Selena and...another "real Selena." It's...extremely complicated.
Selena Miranda Gomez, an 18-year-old girl living in New Mexico, is mad as hell because she's been wrongfully banned from her favorite social networking site.
"I AM NOT AN IMPOSTOR ..." Selena Miranda Gomez explained, "My name is not hers on my page. In fact, I even put my middle name on my FB to clear up any confusion. I did not have one single famous friend. I did not refer to myself as [the famous Selena], and I did not have any pictures of her on my page!"
Alas, her explanations have obviously fallen on deaf ears. Although she's begged Facebook to reactivate her account, they've ignored her.
Perhaps Selena Miranda Gomez should try to contact the real—er—the famous Selena Gomez and ask for her help in clearing things up with Facebook. Hey, it couldn't hurt.
© Hope Carson 2012
Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker and A Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.
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Headline tease: Justin Bieber goes out to eat with an older lady, and it's not Selena. Does this mean "Jelena's" sweet fairytale made for TV romance won't be ending in marriage?
Article: Justin was spotted at Quaint Diner X last night having dinner with an older woman whom he considers very special. Could it be that he's cheating? Not hardly. He was eating with his good ol' mom. Everything is just fine with "Jelena" because Justin is a selfish prick that mistreats and browbeats her and sings her "Happy Birthday" in front of the whole world. They couldn't be happier, ...just look at the pictures of her crying and frowning.
...Stay tuned for the next installment of 'over-hyped confusing pseudo-drama for kids'
Headline: Justin Bieber savagely killed a defenseless animal! What will Selena think?
Article: Yesterday, "Jelena" was spotted out eating ice cream when LaGomez was bitten by a mosquito. Without hesitation, and to fearlessly defend his best girlfriend against a ravenous micro-monster, he squashed it with a soft slap to her leg. But Selena doesn't seem to mind getting slapped. She just smiles as she gives him a napkin to wipe off the bug guts. Wow, isn't she such a supportive girlfriend?
...stay tuned...