'Fifty Shades of Grey' Pseudo-Teaser Stars Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart as Christian, Anastasia (Video)

Poor Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. As all good Fifty Shades of Grey fans and Twihards alike know, the "mommie porn" novel began as Twilight fan fiction. Which means that its kinky couple, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, were based on Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. Who were pretty kinky in their own way when you think about it. Since there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that the former Robsten will star in the eagerly awaited 50 Shades of Grey film, it was inevitable that someone would eventually make a video combining generic SMBD imagery plus recognizable visual components from E.L. James' novel with Twilight footage of RPattz and KStew. There's even some candid footage of the Breaking Dawn couple when they were still...a couple.

The video is described on fan sites as "based on the story Master of the Universe, by Snowqueens Icedragon, subsequently published as the bestselling trilogy 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James." Like the unofficial Fifty Shades of Grey movie trailer which is also fan made, the video is shot in black and white. Until approximately the 0.22 mark, it's mostly still photos of Pattinson, mostly in close-up, with a few brief clips of the Twilight heart-throb swaggering shirtless across the screen. At about the 0.26 mark, La Stewart makes her entrance in a series of close-up scenes from the original Twilight film. She's joined by images—both still and otherwise—of Rob. And then things get weird.

The words pleasure" and "pain" flash across the screen in lurid red letters followed by a close up of Edward sinking his fangs into Bella's neck. Ouch. That Twilight footage gives way to the letters "S," "E," and "X" flashing one by one on the right side of the screen. They're followed by a chaotic montage of RPattz and KStew—er—Edward and Bella lustily making out, followed by a closeup of obviously male hands clamping a pair of handcuffs on obviously female wrists. Dedicated Twihards will like the subsequent images of Pattinson alternately smiling, sneering, scoffing, brooding, and slowly doffing his shirt. KStew has less to do as Bella, but she looks fetching nevertheless.

So there you have it. You can watch the video below. Enjoy.

Note: E.L. James once went by the pseudonym, Snowqueens Icedragon? Who knew?