Poor Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. It seems Bruce Willis started a trend. Now other A-list celebrities are jumping on the "diss Rob and Kristen" bandwagon. The latest A-lister to emerge and diss their onetime fairy tale romance and messy break-up is none other than Academy Award winner Angelina Jolie. The Salt star recently dissed the couple formerly known as Robsten by calling their onetime fairy tale romance a "showmance." Which means that their agonizing, heartbreaking split was nothing but a farce played out for publicity. Ouch.
According to La Jolie, the nonstens have been right all along--for four long years to be exact. In other words, the studio ordered RPattz and KStew to get together and feign a love affair to promote the Twilight Saga franchise. Hey, they're actors, right. So, part of their job was to act like they were in love. Angie thinks it's a shame Rob and Kristen knuckled under to the studio's pressure, because when Kristen was caught cheating with Rupert Sanders, it all came tumbling down. Angie says, they're "both suffering." Of course, Kristen is suffering a bit more than Rob. Her career is possibly damaged forever, whereas Rob just looks like a fool. Ah, sexism.
"You play along when younger but end up realizing it's a bad idea," Tweeted Angelina Jolie on the Jolie Project Twitter account on August 31. "Studios gain, but you don't. (Kristen - Robert thing : classic)"
Well, Angie certainly made it clear that she was talking about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart and their mock romance and embarrassing split. It was never a romance at all, but an attempt by the studio to get the "most bang for their buck." The studio wisely realized that the fans would invest even more emotion in the Twilight franchise if they thought the actors playing Edward Cullen and Bella Swan were in love in real life. Angie apparently believes the then young, unknown, and far from financially secure Rob and Kristen were easily influenced (or paid off) by Summit. Tough.
So there you have it. The bottom line is: Who cares? With all due respect to the Twihards, whether RPattz and KStew were madly in love or just making a few extra bucks (or in their case, a few extra million) by pretending to be off-screen sweethearts, the world will still spin on its axis, there will still be death and taxes, and life in this corner of the universe will muddle on. Fans over the age of eighteen should try to get lives instead of pathologically cathecting intense emotional energy into the lives of famous people they will probably never even meet--let alone befriend or hook up with.
As for Bruce Willis, his video parody Twihard with a Vengeance was funny. If Robsten really was a fake couple, they probably had a good laugh watching it. And if they were for real, they'll no doubt find it funny a few years down the road. Time heals.
Â© Hope Carson 2012
Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker and A Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.