Honey Boo Boo's family relationships sure are complicated. It's as if these people were born to be reality show stars. They have it all--a cartoonishly grotesque mom, an inappropriate yet unfailingly endearing moppet, who competes in child beauty pageants even though she's technically not that beautiful, and a sex offender dad who wants to reconnect with his now "famous" daughter even though he was convicted, back in the day, of "Internet exploitation" of a 13-year-old. Yikes. Imagine what Erskine Caldwell could make of this clan if he were still around today.
Yes, it seems that La Boo Boo's half sister's dad is itching to cash in--er--be welcomed back into the bosom of his estranged family. For those who haven't quite kept up, Michael Ford was arrested back in 2005 for explaining the ins and outs of oral sex to a 13-year-old girl in an online chat room. He then supplemented his instructions with "a naked picture of his private parts." However when he suggested they meet, he was sorely disappointed. The "little girl" turned out to be was an undercover cop, and he went to prison for a few years. Unfortunately, they've let him out, and he wants to reconnect with his now 15-year-old daughter Jessica, a.k.a. Chubbs. He also claims he "desperately wants his parents to meet their granddaughter...beÂfore they die." Right.
The real question in this sordid melodrama is why a scrap of scum like Ford was eve released from prison in the first place. The state of Georgia definitely has some 'splainin' to do. As for his desire to prove he's father of the year material, Honey Boo Boo and Chubbs' mama, June, has K.O'ed the idea.
"He hasn't wanted to deal with Jessica for 15 years," says June, "and all of a sudden, the show comes out and he's father of the year."
Ford, of course, denies that he's motivated by greed. But then, of course, he would, wouldn't he?
"Last November, June told me if I tried to come to the house to see Jessica, she'd have me arrested for haÂrassment!" the wannabe child molester whined. "I was shocked to see Jessica on television the night the show premiered, but when I tried to see her the next day, I was told, 'If you want to see your daughter, turn the television on Wednesday nights.' Let me tell you, it hurts."
Yes, no doubt it does hurt. Where it counts. In his empty wallet.
Photo source: Zimbio
Â© Hope Carson 2012