Tom Cruise is being sued for $34 million by someone named "Slim Shady Holmes", who wants custody of Tom's daughter Suri, to save her from Scientology brainwashing.
Why does America have a judicial system which allows this nonsense? Whoever this Slim Shady Holmes character is, he or she should be forced to pay for the paperwork of filing these documents, and face criminal charges for clogging up the courts. The frivolous lawsuits in this country have to end.
Slim Shady claims that Cruise once danced in his underwear with John Travolta, and that the action star intends to impregnate Octomom Nadya Suleman.
Other notables mentioned in the document include Katie Holmes, Saddam Hussein, Victoria Beckham, George Zimmerman, and race care driver Jeff Gordon. What with all the headaches in Cruise's life right now, this is the last thing he needs.